Adoption: God’s Plan for Us
Andy and I began our adoption story in 2010. We have always had a positive view of adoption due to the fact that Andy was adopted and it has been such a blessing in his life. We both wanted to be able to bless another child in this same way, but thought it would be after having biological children first. As we began trying to start our family, we realized rather quickly that conceiving might not be possible. As painful a reality as that was, we were greatly comforted by the knowledge that adoption was always in our plan!
Beginning the process of becoming “paper pregnant” can feel daunting. Do you use an agency? Which agency, there are thousands? Do you go with an attorney? Do you become a foster family first? Where do you start? There are so many questions! Thankfully we had a group of close friends who had been praying with us throughout our entire journey thus far. One particular couple felt led towards a specific agency and asked us if we would like to join them in going to an informational meeting. God’s plan! We went a few days later, felt very confident in the agency and their ability to help us. Over the next six weeks, we completed all the necessary paperwork, training classes, and home study meetings and finally became an official waiting family. We had highs and lows-the adoption agency we used started out great and we were so hopeful that the process would be quick. However, the agency experienced many issues and eventually we severed our relationship with them, taking us back to square one. The wait can seems like an eternity and there came a time where we were uncertain if we would ever have a child. We smiled and celebrated with all our friends when they announced their bundle of joy was on the way. We celebrated with our church friends on baby dedication day. Wanting something so badly, and feeling that we would never have what everyone else around us had, felt hopeless at times, but we prayed. We had been praying so hard and faithfully, we had been walking through every door that we felt God was leading us through. Why were we experiencing so many setbacks? God’s plan!
We received a call from a childhood friend of mine one day out of the blue. Her family had moved out of state years prior, but had recently moved back to our hometown. One day her father ran into a girl he had worked with while out of state. He helped her get a job and get established in town. In return, when her parents came to move her in, they invited them out to dinner as a way to say thank you. Over the course of dinner, it was revealed that this girl’s mother was an adoption attorney! My friend told her our entire story, our issues with our agency, and asked if she could help us. God’s plan! He knew exactly when and how our story would unfold! My friend called me the very next day to tell us all about the attorney and what they had discussed. We called the attorney the next day and that was it. We submitted our application, but then came a big hurdle. Most home studies are, at least at that time, state specific. You can’t just take one state’s home study and use it in another state. God’s plan! The agency we used and were led to was one of the few at the time whose home study would travel. They accepted it with no problem! After finding out all the rules and regulations about this specific issue, we knew immediately why God had led us to the agency, our home study would travel with us. God’s plan!
Two weeks after contacting the attorney we were matched with a birth family. Seven months later we were given the most beautiful, eight pound, 20 ½ inch long baby boy the world had ever seen! Yes, we might be slightly biased. Our wait was finally over. Our lives have never known such joy!
We have learned firsthand that there are hundreds of reasons a birth family chooses adoption. It can be a very joyous time for them, but a very heartbreaking time as well. In our situation, our family could not afford another child. We met with them in November so they could get a sense of who we were and spend some time with us. Giving your child over to someone else has to be one of the most difficult and painful decisions, while at the same time being the most precious, loving, and selfless acts one can make. They had lots of questions for us, and we answered the best we knew how. The day our son was born was beautiful. We got to be present for his birth, we got to spend time with our birth family over the next couple of days, and they got a front row seat to the creation of a new family. We would like to believe that in that moment, they felt at peace with their decision. We made a promise to our birth family that we would raise Weston in a way that would bring honor and glory to both God and to them, and that they would be proud of the man we would help him become. We had a celebration before leaving and all of their friends and family came in to see us off and pray over us and this perfect, precious little boy. It was beautiful!
Our advice to anyone considering adoption is to pray! Pray for wisdom to know where God is leading you. Pray for your birth family. It seems strange praying for someone you don’t even know, but pray for them. Ask your family and friends to pray for you. Prayer is powerful and effective. “I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord.” We don’t know His plan, but we know it is perfect and His timing is always right! Pray for patience and faith during the waiting. Don’t get discouraged in the waiting, God is preparing you in ways you can’t even imagine. Our preacher once said “the fulfillment of God’s promises are always worth the wait.” If I could have only heard that before this journey. Waiting is no fun, but joy is always worth the wait. That is what adoption is to us, complete joy!
If you are a birth parent, whether you are on this journey as a couple or going it alone, know you are NOT alone. There are so many people praying over you, people you don’t even know. You have more strength than you know. You are more loved than you know. You can do this, and the wait and the journey will bring you more joy than you will ever know!
If you would like to speak to a Hope Center Adoption Counselor about beginning your adoption journey, or to find out more about the option of adoption for you and your child, fill out the “Get In Touch” information at the bottom of the page or call our office at (931) 252-7159.